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This is such a beautiful essay and I connect with so much of it. Your questions bring to mind Rilke’s thoughts and writings on Living the Questions. And I love how you’ve written about how you’ve been living yours. It is wonderful introspection.

I especially valued the portions about loving and grieving motherhood. I don’t think I realized how much grief I was carrying, about the loss of who I was before etc. until my oldest left for college. And then I felt some guilt about that grief. It’s comforting to read a bit about your experience.

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Thank you Laci, and yes to al the grief that shows up when you are not looking. So wild that you brought up Rilke. I have been sitting on this quote for a while and have been working on an essay from it that I was going to send out instead of this one. “The work of the eyes is done. Go now and do the heart-work on the images imprisoned within you.” Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet. Themes must be happening. Thank you for reading and connecting.

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